The evolution of the “Demoiselle en Détresse” Complex

You will have to admit that the French makes it sound like something cool – Demoiselle en Détresse. Being a Damsel in Distress is all but cool, though. A damsel is normally a passive, whining woman from the Middle Age whose sole purpose in life is to be rescued by her dashing hero. Iconography suggests damsels in distress would often happen to be [voluntarily or involuntarily] caught up in treacherous conditions: trapped in towers,  threatened by dragons, cursed by magic, tied to rocks or railroad tracks – until, here comes the knight errant, performing the most daring deeds in the name of the defenceless lady.

The helpless maidens of the past have been replaced by the resilient, competent women of today, who can live their lives and pursue a career. Knights in shining armours are no longer required.

Still, this ‘being rescued’ thing appeals to women, it must be encoded in their DNA. Even the most emancipated and fulfilled women show a tendency to fall for caring [male] individuals, who heal and make them feel good – preferably if not the least interested or attracted to them.

The infatuation is normally triggered by any situation where the woman feels exposed and the man gives her care. The Gynaecologist Crush Complex is what it is called today (what better metaphor, women ‘exposed’ – literally!).

The Gynaecologist Crush Complex

All the elements to fall prey to the infatuation combine in one of the most vulnerable yet voluntary moments in a woman’s life: wearing a white coat (let’s not forget the charm of the armour) your gyno accesses your most intimate parts, views them with so much [professional] interest, while holding vaginal discourse; you can tell him things you would never tell anyone else, his voice is calm and his hands are firm and warm. Your heart flutters and you feel excited like a schoolgirl. You get all dolled and trimmed up before seeing him, with the desire of pushing the boundaries. 

There are 95% chances that if you are are female you will blush at reading this, for you have had a crush on your gynaecologist too! If it’s not your gynaecologist, it is your doctor, your therapist, your teacher, your personal trainer.  Caring, nurturing and appealing individuals. It seems like natural to develop a very comfortable relationship and “fall in love”.

Unlike the knights in shining armour who regarded the saving of demoiselles in need as essential part of their raison d’être (French sounds so very learned!), today’s saviours have a pure professional interest in their patient. The Truth is, women don’t even know if the gyno/doctor/teacher/personal trainer they’re in love with is …gay.

And you, have you ever had a crush on your doctor/gyno/teacher/personal trainer/etc? Did it remain platonic?