It’s not even fair to say that I hate Ryanair, I am kinda getting used to travelling Ryanair. Let’s take the fact that Ryanair does not pre-assign seats to its passengers, for instance. Most people hate that you have to start queuing – standing (and pushing) – at the boarding gate, ages before the plane even lands from its previous flight. Once on the plane you have to fight for seats. Sounds detestable? To most people probably. I happen to be travelling on my own quite frequently and Ryanair’s non-assigned seating has become of interest to me. I know that I am destined to find my better half on a plane. How do I know? There aren’t many other options left, I have tried a few and didn’t work (you can check my previous posting).
Ryanair serves the purpose quite well: I usually am one of the first passengers to board the plane (but I am not among those who push, I swear, I am small and can sneak in); I carefully choose a seat, at the beginning or end of the plane. I sit alone, casually throwing glances at the people walking along the aisle, waiting for Mr Right to pass by – along the aisle, how odd – notice me and take the seat next to mine. And they lived happily ever after.
Never happened, not a single time, not a single decent guy to take the seat next to mine and flirt with me.
It’s not my plane lover’s fault, though, there is always an elderly couple that doesn’t leave him time to find me. What is it in me that attracts elderly couples? They just interfere with the plane love game. It is well-known how men play this game, the trick is either to play it safe and and choose the first potential date you see (either at the beginning or end of the plane depending on where you board from), or hold out for someone ‘better’, scanning all seats and ending to have to settle at the end of the aisle for waiting too long (or beginning, depending on where you board from).
This would work out perfectly, if it wasn’t for that elderly couple always choosing me as a travel companion! This is why I hate Ryanair: instead of being squeezed in a rendez-vous at a high altitude with a hot stranger, I always end up squeezed in next to loudly snoring elderlies!
[no offence for the elderlies who are lovely people!]