The power of menstruation–aka: Women are crazy lunatics

“Are you having your period?” mood-swings1

Guys, do you really think that women can only freak out 5 days a month? Ah, ah, ah, you wish. It’s quite the opposite, your girlfriend can be her normal and loving self for about 5 days a month, the rest of the time she is a lunatic. It is called menstrual cycle for a reason: it is a cycle of 4 weeks (yep, if you can do the maths, 4 weeks makes a month); 4 long weeks when women are prey to hormonal changes.

First to come is the ovulatory phase. To help you guys, that is the first 2 weeks of the month (not to be confused with the calendar month or the lunar month). The ovulatory phase ends with the ovulation, the release of an egg. No, ovulating is not funny, why do you guys have to say that “you are ovulating!” when you are overexcited? That is when we are mostly emotional and irritable, we feel like crying, crying, crying. We cry for nothing, we freak out for nothing. Sound like fun for you? A little respect for the eggs we bear, please.

Then it is the turn of the menstrual phase, with Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS), preceding the so called ‘time of the month’ itself; they named it Syndrome, it’s a seriously and highly charged altered state. When a woman is in PMS mode, her hormones have a mind of their own and she is overwhelmed; it’s a roller coaster of emotions, irritability, anger, oversensitivity, sadness and mood swings. All accompanied by physical pain. We can blow up at anything. The worst symptoms of the egg-laying phase combine with the worst symptoms of the egg-expelling phase. Are you still thinking that your girlfriend can be cranky 5 days a month? We just go through different degrees of lunaticity. And it is not an excuse for every female to act like a witch with a capital B, as they say in; in fact you shouldn’t ask men, they don’t know what it feels like to be PMS-ing! Neither what it feels like to make eggs (or drop them). Sending a squadron in search of an egg is not quite as painful as making one.

‘Ovulation + PMS + period’ leave just a few days of freedom from hormones turmoil in the 4-week-cycle. A few days when we can be rational and placid. Unless you start drooling at some other girl’s @ss. In that case your girlfriend will fly off the handle and it’s just your fault.  She will start screaming at you and then she will start crying. You deny and that will make her even crazier. She will demand that you admit being guilty and that you apologize. Because for a moment you did think of sending your squadron in search of a new egg (and if you didn’t, you were about to anyway). It all comes back to the eggs in the end. It’s either our own eggs, or the other ones your squadrons are after. In either case, it’s the eggs that make us freak out!


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