Kiss me I’m Irish–the Paddy’s Day Scene

Saint Patrick’s Day, affectionately called Paddy’s Day, possibly the most important day in the Irish calendar. Every respectable Irish person is off work and in the perfect mood for celebration; the festival is on. If you are lucky enough to be in Dublin you will enjoy the parade and the fun of the capital. What better occasion to cheerfully meet people and possibly a man/ the man? With just a little bit of Irish luck ♣!

That is Italian wishful thinking, I reckon. The Irish way seems to be slightly different. The Dublin dating scene is pretty depressing per se, on Paddy’s Day it doesn’t get any better. Almost all businesses close on March 17th, with the exception of pubs. “When Irish guys are drinking, and the craic* begins to flow” recites a traditional song**. Yes, yet again the drunken Irish cliché! Now to be fair you will not find that many drunken guys around on Paddy’s Day, it is prohibited to sell booze before 15.30. What are you saying? Oh well, of course they get stock the day before. Paddy’s Day doesn’t change much from a regular weekend night, the only difference being that on a regular Saturday night you don’t get as much of a chance to meet a Leprechaun. The rest is the same. Leprechaun makes eye contact with miss Shamrock, miss Shamrock hits back. They exchange some flirtatious glances, then, nothing happens really. In the best of hypothesis he will take her number, exchange a few texts during the week and randomly ask her if she is around the following weekend (don’t expect a date); in the worst of hypothesis he will be too intoxicated to even remember his own name, let alone hers. He might give her a drunken kiss, but won’t be able to take her to the end of the rainbow to show her his pot of gold. Nor would he grant her the 3 wishes as he is supposed to (pr$ck!).

How have Irish girls managed to survive all this time? What one has the pleasure to admire on Paddy’s Day explains it all. Irish ladies will be seen wearing a short emerald green something (a skirt? a dress? a belt?) just barely below their @ss and they will be carrying booze in their handbag. Not much different from a regular weekend night. The short something (as well as lots of makeup, tangerine tan and perfectly pomaded extensions) is to attract men, the booze is to help the tongue flow and approach blokes as they won’t make the step. The booze is also for when the bloke disappears. They have all my sympathy. No wonder they vomit at bus stops on the way back home, it’s for the stress, not for the drinking.

Foreign girls (me!) remain perplexed at the Irish customs. But how do foreign guys fit into the picture? They seem to fit quite well with Irish girls. The girls are pleased to find someone who has some chivalry for a change and is not afraid to approach them. The foreign guys are normally pleasantly surprised when they realize they can chat up girls avoiding never ending courting rituals. They are not stuck up snobs as girls their own nationality and they are always dressed to impress. Okay these girls are accustomed to drink more than they can bare themselves, but does it really matter?

paddy's-day

*craic: good fun (lively conversation in Gaelic)

** Original Song Title: “When the Irish Eyes are Smiling”; parody written by Kristof Robertson.

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