How do I get my girlfriend to lose weight?

Don’t worry lads, this is not going to be another blogpost on how superficial men are for not realizing that with time and age a woman will never look like she is twenty ever again (neither will you, by the way..).

We got to understand that you guys are more “visual” than women in a relationship. If we are lucky enough to be involved with one of you in a loving, committed relationship, we know that our weight will not matter in terms of love, but it will matter in terms of sexual attraction; and unattractiveness can harm a relationship. We know well. We know that after a while you might kick our (cellulitic) butt for a young and skinny girl.

Now, knowing this doesn’t mean it is okay. You are insensitive troglodytes. All you are able to think is that women tend to get comfortable and let themselves go when they are in a relationship. Wrong. Have you ever thought that your woman is primarily concerned about looking after you and feeding you? She cooks for you, to please you. She asks you what you feel like eating and carefully prepares the food you desire. She spends time in the kitchen to surprise you.  Right, that is why she puts on weight in the first place.

Even though she knows and kind of accepted that sooner or later you will tell her that she is fat, it usually comes in brutally and unexpected. Are we not naive?

So, you told her that she is fat and should lose weight, you obviously expect her to start dieting and work out. And be the usual loving self at the same time. Well man, she  loves you, no matter how your appearance has changed with time, but do you really think you can get away with it so easily? If you used the word “fat” and/or “weight”, that is what will resound in her head any time she sees your face from now on (synonyms may not be as brutal, but will have a similar effect). She knows pretty well that she has put on some extra kilos, but damn, there was no need to say it out loud! No one wants to hear that they are no longer attractive. Don’t be surprised if she becomes hostile and shows some kind of resistance. She might not start any diet at all or she might give up very easily.

Most of you guys expect women to diet while watching you feast at the table; sit next to you in the cinema sipping a diet beverage while you are crunching popcorns; go to the gym after work and come back to a house awaiting work and a playstation-playing-partner (or tv-watching-and-beer-drinking partner) awaiting dinner; work out every day while you complain about going up the stairs when the elevator is out of service.

You have to do something too, you have to help, you have to support her. You have to if you love her, and to feel what it is like, how hard it is, after you dared tell her that she is fat (don’t forget it is your fault in the first place). That is your price for being such a moron.

If you really want to get her to diet and work out, you better be the first one to start. Or you better do something very nice in return.

Alternatively, there are two things that have proven to make girls lose weight 100% guarantee:

1. being dumped

2. getting married

The choice is yours.

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